When was the last time you poured your heart out and wrote a love letter to someone special? You know, the old-fashioned way of putting pen to paper and expressing your deepest feelings? With instant messaging, emails, and emojis, it’s easy to forget the romance of a handwritten letter.
But did you know that people have been writing love letters for centuries? In Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s novel “Love in the Time of Cholera,” Florentino falls head over heels for Fermina and expresses his love through hundreds of handwritten letters over fifty years. That’s the power of love letters, folks.
But here’s the thing: writing a love letter isn’t just for lovebirds. You can write one to yourself, too. And trust me, it’s a liberating experience. Research has even shown that writing a love letter to yourself can do wonders for your mental health.
In this article, we’ll guide you through the process of writing a love letter to yourself. So get ready to fall head over heels for the most important person in your life – you!
Benefits of Writing a Love Letter to Yourself
In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to forget about ourselves while taking care of others. Writing a love letter to yourself can help you to cultivate self-love and raise your self-esteem. Here are five benefits of writing a love letter to yourself.
1. Affirm your self-worth
Writing a love letter to yourself is a way to affirm your self-worth and recognize the good within you. It doesn’t have to be a sappy Valentine’s Day-style message, but a compassionate and loving one. When we believe in ourselves, we can grow, develop, and flourish into the people we wish to be.
2. Reconnect with your true self
Writing a love letter to yourself can help you reconnect with your true self. It’s easy to neglect our emotional needs while we’re busy taking care of others or caught up in the daily grind. Mindfulness, meditation, and journaling can help, but writing a love letter is an opportunity to celebrate the most important relationship we will ever have – the one with ourselves.
3. Boost your emotional well-being
Words are powerful things, and the way we practice self-talk becomes the template for how we see ourselves. Writing down positive words about yourself can raise your level of wellness, aid in the process of emotional healing, and provide stress relief. Studies show that it can help with depression, anxiety, drug dependency, and overcoming traumatic experiences.
4. Give yourself love
Writing a love letter to yourself is an opportunity to give yourself the love and appreciation that we all need. It doesn’t have to be perfect or follow any specific format. It’s just a chance to express how you feel about yourself and the qualities that you appreciate.
5. Flex your memory muscle
Writing a love letter to yourself is an exercise for your brain and a way to flex your memory muscle. Writing with a pen on paper is better than using a keyboard because it offers more benefits. The act of writing down how you feel can improve memory and recall, making it easier to remember the positive things about yourself.
How to Write Yourself A Love Letter
Buy yourself a nice writing notebook or use any loose paper you already have. Invest in a good pen that flows easily. Writing by hand is the best way to create your love letter but if you find it too much of a hassle, you can use the notes app on your smartphone or type it as a document on your laptop/PC. Whichever format you choose, the act of laying out your thoughts and feelings should be a positive experience.
1. Select your spot
Set aside some time during your week to write the love letter. Make sure you won’t be disturbed for however long it takes and choose a place where you feel comfy and relaxed.
It could be at home, in your favorite coffee shop, or at the park — anywhere that allows you to compose your thoughts and put them down. Do it with intention and from the heart, rather than seeing it as a chore.
2. Writing to yourself
You are writing a love letter to yourself, so you should use 3rd person, which means beginning with something like:
Dear (your name),
You are so special to me because…
It may seem strange at first, but once you try it, you will soon see how it helps to reduce anxiety and enables you to deal with your emotions in a calming way. And, it gets you to address yourself with tenderness and empathy; two things that may have been missing from your life until now.
It can be as long or as short as you like, and you can focus on whatever feels right to you. Use phrases such as:
- Dear (name)…
- I wanted to express my feelings because…
- I love you because…
- You are so special to me because…
- I’m so proud of you because…
- What sets you apart from anyone else is…
- I’m grateful to you for…
- My wish to you is that…
3. Decide on the style
There are different ways to approach the letter and it’s up to you how you go about it. You may just want to pour out onto paper whatever is in your heart at this moment and let it flow naturally. There are no rules to freestyling, as long as you keep it positive, upbeat, and self-appreciative.
If you find that a bit daunting, there are other ways of doing it that are more focused. One of them is to write to your younger, or future self.
Let’s say that you are writing to the younger version of yourself. What kind of things would you like to tell them and what advice would you give them? If you decide to write to your future self, what would you say to give them encouragement, hope, and love?
The whole point of the exercise is to talk about the physical attributes or characteristics that you love about yourself unconditionally. You can talk about your qualities and strong points or mention your achievements and accomplishments. The person who you are describing (i.e., you) deserves praise and acknowledgement, so don’t hold back — go for it!
4. Make a list
You may want to spend some time beforehand making a list of ten things that you love about yourself, or more if you can. These will reflect all of your amazing qualities and your list could look something like this:
- I’m loyal
- I’m great at maths/cooking/swimming
- I’m honest
- I’m creative
- I’m generous
- I’m hard-working
- I’m always punctual
- I’m brave
- I’m trustworthy
- I’m very friendly
What you are doing here is focusing on your strengths and not your weaknesses. You may be used to dragging yourself down but now it’s time to pull yourself up. Whatever you include in your list, don’t undermine each quality or take them for granted.
You are special and need to believe that. Also, by avoiding negative self-talk you are bolstering your overall feeling of being worthy, and this is an essential part of self-love. Just because you are tending to your own needs, it doesn’t mean that you love others any less because your potential for love is infinite — you have more than enough for everyone, including yourself.
5. Describe how each quality has benefitted you
Once you have made your list. Take some time to consider how each quality has benefitted you in some way, no matter how small. If you think about it long enough, you will find examples of occasions when being creative, for instance, had a positive effect on your life because it may, for instance, have enabled you to create artworks that decorate your home. Make a note of your reflections in the following way:
- Being loyal has benefitted me because it has earned me the respect of my close friends.
- Being great at maths means that I can sort out my financial matters on my own.
You can continue with your own list and once you have done so, be sure to honor those qualities by finding ways that are personally meaningful to you. For example, by saying something like:
- I will continue to dedicate some time to my creative side because it makes me feel very fulfilled.
- I will remind myself that I am fortunate to be good at maths because not everyone has that skill.
Accepting the parts of you that you don’t love is OK too because everyone has their pet peeves. I may not like the way I am impatient, for example. However, by recognizing that this is a part of who I am, I can work on improving that, which will definitely reduce my stress levels.
There is no point in hating yourself for any of your shortcomings and using them against you. This isn’t a court of law and you aren’t on trial for anything so avoid being judgmental and critical. By simply accepting your weaker traits, you can let go of them and release yourself from the need to be perfect.
6. Take a moment to read your letter
Take a minute to give yourself a pat on the back for taking the time to acknowledge how amazing you are.
Now, listen up, friend. It doesn’t matter if your letter is Pulitzer Prize-winning material or if it’s filled with typos and run-on sentences. The point of the letter is to remind yourself that you are important and worthy of love and respect.
We live in a world where it’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget to appreciate ourselves. But taking the time to write a love letter to yourself is a powerful act of self-care. So, be proud of yourself for doing it!
Whenever you’re feeling down or overwhelmed, take out that love letter and read it again. Let those words of self-love and self-respect wash over you and remind you of your awesomeness. You deserve it!
Examples
To give you a better idea of how to write your love letter, below you will find some examples of my own letters. Yours doesn’t have to be exactly like any of these and, since you are unique, you can express yourself anyway that you like. Just be true to yourself and remember what the intention is here: to nurture your inner self and develop a deeper sense of self-love.
Example 1
Dear Rebecca,
I remember how you had so many hopes and dreams when you were younger, and I know how hard you have worked to achieve some of them. You should be proud of yourself for everything that you have accomplished because it hasn’t been easy. You truly are a courageous woman who is capable of so much and I am very proud to have been right next to you every step of your journey. We’ve gone through many tough times and shared more than a few tears together, but I know that you are deserving of all the happiness there is in the world.
I will always be here for you and hold you close to my heart.
Much love…
Example 2
My dear Rebecca,
I wanted to write to you to tell you how much I love you. I may not say those words often enough, and I am sorry for that. Sometimes it seems that I have taken you for granted and not fully appreciated the caring person that you are. You have always shown kindness to others and been considerate of their needs, often ignoring your own along the way. I remember when your sister was sick and you never left her side until she was well again. Your loyalty and dedication are amazing and I know that there have been many times when you have felt lonely and unloved yourself.
You bring so much joy to others with your kindness and deserve to be happy. Let me tell you that you are very special and I love you from the bottom of my heart.
All my love…
4 Best Tips For Writing A Love Letter To Yourself
1. Write with tenderness and affection
When writing your love letter, use words of tenderness and affection. Imagine that you are writing to someone you deeply love and care about. This will help you express your feelings and emotions in a way that is kind and gentle. After you’re done, read it out loud to yourself. You’ll be surprised at how powerful it can be to hear these words spoken aloud.
2. Cherish it like a lover
Once you’ve finished your letter, cherish it as if it was from a lover. Fold it up and place it under your pillow or on your bedside table. Read it before you go to sleep or whenever you need a little pick-me-up. Remember that this letter is a testament to your self-love, so treat it with the same respect and admiration you would show to a beloved partner.
3. Consider a love poem
If you’re feeling particularly creative, why not try writing a love poem to yourself instead? Poetry is a great way to express your feelings and stretch your imagination. You don’t have to be a great writer to create something beautiful. Just focus on one of your qualities and extol its virtues, as you would of a lover. The result will be a moving and poignant outpouring of self-love.
4. Keep it simple and compassionate
Remember, the point of this exercise is to honor who you are and fall in love with yourself. You don’t need to be perfect, and you don’t need to write a masterpiece. Keep it simple and compassionate, and focus on accepting yourself for who you are. With a little help and patience, you’ll be able to fully embrace yourself and all that you are.
Final Thoughts
Apart from working on your inner thoughts and feelings, there are many practical ways that you can introduce more self-love into your life.
Being good to yourself should be part of your daily routine and it can become a newfound habit that makes you feel wonderful, so get ready to learn how to do just that. In the meantime, fall in love with yourself by reciting the below affirmation as often as you can and say it as you mean it, straight from the heart!
